The recent Marge Simpson Playboy spread got me thinking about which female cartoon characters are the most beddable. I know, I know, they’re just drawings, they’re not real, but as a man I have no problem fantasising about a drawing. There is no doubt men have sexual feelings and desires towards cartoon characters. Even at an early age as your sexuality is developing some of the first women you fancy are cartoons.
A lot of my friends talk about fancying Wilma Flintstone but she was always a bit too severe for me. Given the choice I would have been popping round the Rubble residence when Barney was out and showing Betty a good time. She seemed kind, well she married Barney after all, whereas Wilma had the hair tied up in a bun and was constantly nagging Fred.
The next big cartoon crush for me was Daphne from Scooby Doo. Everyone wanted Daphne but you just know her tubby, intellectual friend Velma would be a big spanner in the works. This infatuation was only re-ignited when Sarah Michelle Gellar took on the role for the film version.
Cheetara from Thundercats was enough to get most young boys contemplating possible bestiality and who could forget the helpless damsel in distress, Penelope Pitstop? Looking back there were definitely some creepy sexual overtones about the Hooded Claw and his pursuit of poor, stupid Penelope. She-Ra the female counterpart to He-Man wasn’t bad looking either.
It’s all well and good having vague sexual feelings towards cartoons when you’re too young to really know what sex is but let’s be honest it doesn’t stop when you get older. I was sitting watching Family Guy with my dad recently (he is approaching 60) and he turned to me and said “Damn Lois is sexy, I’d love to have a go with her!” All I could do was nod and grin. He’s right the red head Lois Griffin with her saucy past and inexplicable marriage to a fat moron is strangely alluring.
Speaking of hot women married to fat idiots brings us back to Marge and you only have to look at the chatter on the web about her Playboy appearance to see how excited a lot of people got about that. She is occasionally sexy in the cartoon, like that episode when she and Homer get addicted to public sex, but for the most part she’s a nag just like Wilma was.
Another cartoon chick worthy of a mention in the sexiness stakes is Harley Quinn, the Joker’s obsessive side kick. Possibly the hottest cartoon woman has to be Leela from Futurama. Amy isn’t bad either but the curvy Cyclops voiced by Katey Sagal is really sexy. Of course when it comes to curves Jessica Rabbit is always going to win top prize. Mind you I’m not keen on going anywhere Roger’s been.
Looking for pictures to go with this article you’d be surprised what I found. Clearly every angle of fantasising about cartoon chicks is covered, there are x-rated drawings of cartoon babes in the nude, crudely drawn sex toons which display a worrying mental weirdness, and funniest of all, lots of real women dressed up as sexy cartoon characters. So who are you trying to persuade your wife or girlfriend to dress up as?