One more reason not to get a boob job: your fake breast could explode while you are playing paintball. 

Seriously. I hate to laugh because the woman probably could have been seriously injured, but the true story of a British woman’s breast implant exploding during a rather heated game of paintball made me snicker more than just a little. 

You have to admit that it’s kind of funny. 

Obviously, the tragic paintball incident concerned the paintball facility where the woman’s breast exploded because of the negative publicity surrounding the event and the liability involved. As a result, the facility is now asking that any woman with breast implants notify the company about their boob jobs. Any woman with a boob job will then be issued special paintball-proof padding which should hopefully prevent another breast explosion at the facility. 

As the LA Times reports, this isn’t even the first weird incident involving boob jobs. And, before you judge, just know that some of the facts surrounding implants are more positive than others. Before getting a boob job, you might wish to consider the following facts and stories about breast implants: 

• The fake boobs of a Bulgarian woman may have saved her life when they exploded in a car accident. (The correct verb here is actually ‘ruptured,’ but I prefer exploded for its dramatic effect.)
• The fake boobs on an American woman might have acted as a bullet proof vest when she was shot in the chest; her heart was not impacted and she survived. 
• Ruptured implants can sometimes result in a fatality to the woman because of Toxic Shock Syndrome. 

It’s hard to imagine any woman getting a boob job specifically for the purpose of self-protection, but it might be a small excuse for any woman wishing to have a larger bra cup size. I can hear the excuses now: 

“I didn’t want bigger boobs. I was just worried that I might get shot.”

And, as the police officer interviewed by the LA Times observed, breast implants are not actually bullet proof vests. There isn’t any evidence that fake breasts will stop bullets, so it might not be a good idea to put your implants to the ultimate test. In other words, don’t let your boyfriend shoot his gun (no, not that kind of gun!) at your implants while you guard them with an apple. 

The implants might not save you after all.