I knew that schools and school districts were having a difficult time budgeting, but I never really understood the real estate possibilities of an empty school until now- Pioneer Elementary School in Cumberland County was sold and then made into a strip club in 2002. Unsurprisingly, a majority of the town’s residents and alums are unimpressed with the transition.

Despite protests who carry signs like “Does your family know where you are? Jesus does.” from locals and religious conservatives, the “School House” has remained open- due to a lack of zoning restrictions, the angry townspeople have little choice in the matter. The club houses two stripper poles and a sign with the pledge of allegiance on it, which should come as no surprise because everyone knows how incredibly sexy the pledge of allegiance is. According to the NYT, the strippers sometimes dance to old Van Halen tunes and I am guessing that  “Hot for Teacher” is the number one hit in their repertoire.

The club’s owner claims is touting the clubs’ benefits-  he is providing the community with jobs and the school was in poor condition at the time of the sale. Despite his claims,  it seems as if the schools’ alums aren’t really buying that line. Michelle Porter, who attended the school, complained to the NYT that, “It’s corrupted my memory.” The article didn’t mention whether any former alums were patrons to the club.

I’m usually not on the side of social conservatives, but I can actually understand how strange having your old school converted to a strip club would feel to the former students to a limited degree; it’s hard for me to imagine my old elementary school as a strip club. “The School House” conjures up images of women turning the jungle gym into a place for a burlesque performance and teachers stripping in front of their students. If the school had been a high school or a college, it might be a different story, but an elementary school?

Of course, there’s always the other side of the story. I’m sure that the school district got more money than it would have otherwise because the owner saw more potential in the building than other people would have. I have to give him some credit for creativity- the “School House” might just be the only strip joint in the entire world in a former elementary school building.