We all know that Tiger will be golfing again soon, that he lost sponsorships, and now we know that one of his not-so-loyal girlfriends  (Joslyn James) has released his text messages. If you are like me, you have a burning desire to find out just how eloquent Tiger is while sexting. (Notwithstanding the fact that he probably did not have to be extremely eloquent to begin with considering the fact that he was writing to a porn star.)

I checked out the sexts on Joslyn’s page (and you can, too). You have to be 18 years old to enter the site, but I will give you my impressions and a few of the more interesting quotes from the now-infamous golfer himself.

For those of you looking only for the dirty texts, my only advice is to scroll down the page.  In a somewhat surprising number of texts, Tiger is all-business, with specific instructions about avoiding being seen and to take a shower.

“There is a room service cart in my hall. Be careful.”

Not so sexy- the first few texts were more logistical and sweet, with the hot sexting beginning later on. And, I have to say it, some of the dirtier “sexts” are lewd, which should not be surprising in the least.

I personally was not really impressed with,

“Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty whore” which, without getting into the specifics too much, was a pretty constant theme for many of the sexts.  Of course, that could be taken out of context, but I’m not exactly sure how that could be possible.

Also:

"I want to treat to you rough. Throw you around, spank you, and slap you."

(and some I probably shouldn’t write here.)

Others are pretty standard:

“I want to be deep inside you.” and the strange: “I would love to have the ability to make you sore.”

I don’t know about porn stars, but this is definitely not a sext I’d recommend for the average girl.

The last text was a little more telling:
“Don’t f-ing talk to me. You almost just ruined my whole life. If my agent and these guys would have seen you there, fuck.”

It’s always bad when “true love” like this goes awry, but you can’t tell me that neither one of them could not have seen this coming- the writing was in the “sexts” so to speak.

Whether or not Elin Nordegren was aware of his need for “rough sex” or his interest in three-somes or “golden showers” is something only she could confirm. I am highly  doubtful that will be the subject of her next media interview and probably should not have been speculated on so much by the press to begin with.

And, to be fair, I don’t know whether this porn star is really truthful about Tiger’s sexts. Regardless, it makes for some pretty entertaining reading.