Chuck Klosterman on Porn

Chuck Klosterman on Porn

I love Chuck Klosterman. Well, I've never actually met him, so I can't say I love him, but still. In his book, " Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs", which is a must-read for every Gen-X-er out there, he discusses modern day culture. One of the more interesting essays is entitled "Porn" and his opening line has to be the greatest of all time.

"When exactly did every housewife in America become a whore?"

Since, I'm technically a housewife, I don't necessarily agree with the underlying premise that all housewives are whores, but that is not exactly his point. In the essay, he's referring to the number of sites (not even including the numerous MILF websites), that include such intriguing phrases as, "My wife is a whore." Klosterman examines this phenomenon from the perspective that men prefer to look at women on the Internet that "they'd normally ignore in real life."

I totally disagree with that statement. While I've seen a few plain Janes on the amateur sites Porno-tube and You-porno, the majority of the women have triple-D breasts, butt-implants, and look like rough versions of Pamela Anderson, which is a scary sight for me to behold since she looks pretty much like a plastic sex-toy doll more than a real life person. In other words, the average amateur porn star does not look like the kind of woman a guy would accidentally pass by in a bar.

The essay also analyzes why we are so fascinated with celebrity porn. His claim is that the celebrities in the average porno videos look like normal every day Americans because of things like "nipple color". While I've never analyzed Paris Hilton's nipples too closely, I can wager a bet (without giving out my personal dimensions), that she and I don't have too much in common in terms of body appearance.

Klosterman does make one point I agree with in his essay: a lot of Internet porn is more about misogyny than actual sex. Seriously, how many real women are really eager for a "facial"? While it's not something I've ever discussed with my close friends over cocktails, I'm willing to bet that the answer is "very few". Dan Savage has a column in which he discusses the touchy subject and refuses to give helpful hints to a man wishing to convince his wife that this would be a worthwhile activity.  In Dan's words, " Facials are degrading". (Of course, he ends with "that's why they're so hot.")