Unlike an open-minded blog such as this, some people tend to beat around the bush while talking about sexual subjects. In fact, that past sentence was representative of that. People don’t like talking about sex. Boning down. Doing the dirty. It makes people uncomfortable. The fact is, though, communication in sex is important. It brings you closer to your partner and allows you both to overcome some potentially awkward situations.
While traveling in Chiang Mai, Thailand, I had the opportunity to talk with an American Baha’I, and a strapping young gent from the UK. We spoke of typical travel topics, but one breakfast had the opportunity to talk about sexuality, monogamy vs. promiscuity, and all the other topics one can hit when speaking with other open-minded people.
One topic that really stuck out was when we began to talk about BDSM. Knowing for myself that I’m more of a passionate, gentle lover, this isn’t something I naturally gravitate too. The Brit had just read a novel touching on the subject, and was curious about how you bring this up with a potential partner. This is where the talk about communication in the bedroom came to the center of our conversation.
There is nothing wrong with BDSM, or anything in the bedroom for that matter. Keeping things interesting is important in a monogamous relationship. But even when engaging with a person whom you may not know (even their first name) positive sexuality need to include communication about what is ok, what one likes, et cetera. Communication is often brushed aside as killing the moment, but truly, it opens doors to a better sexual experience for everyone.