We all know what I’m referring to when I say the numbers game. The dirty little secret that many people take as a deep-rooted insight to your sex life. That’s right, the number of partners a person has had. We’ve all seen movies about people reaching a number they think is too high, or have had conversations with people where we talk about our number (be it a real one or made up). The fact is, though, the numbers game is divisive.
I know for me personally, I’m not a person who likes to share my number. It has nothing to do with me thinking it is too high or too low. It doesn’t have to do with me not knowing my number either. I believe numeration is a terrible way to look at sex. Only referring to a sexual experience as a number completely demeans something that has so much value, so much weight. It takes away from what each experience means, who each person was, and what made the two of you indulge in the first place.
Along with devaluing sex, I also think learning a person’s number is a piece of information you can’t unlearn. Most of the time, the people who want to know are the people who can’t handle hearing the number. Partners, supposedly, have a right to know, but why does it matter? What people should really be concerned with is whether or not their new partner has been tested and if they practiced safe sex in the past.
For those who want to know about numbers, that is your own deal. For me, I would rather let the past stay in the past. The only questions I want answered are of sexual practices for both of our benefit.